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What does personal fulfillment look like in China?

龙腾网/muyefytte 2018-05-17 18:16:18 个人价值
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ShenzhenMuscleDaddy 於 7小時前 發表

In the West there is a persistent notion of the search for personal fulfillment- meaning finding and attaining your fundamental purpose in life. Attaining knowledge growing yourself becoming more generous and kind or becoming a more complete person. People can achieve this through different pathways- through a successful career or building a family or perhaps by building a rich personal intellectual life.


What's the "end game" or similar end goal when it comes to personal fulfillment in mainlandChina or for Chinese people? Obviously it's impossible to make blanket statements about an entire country- but is there a different mental frxwork here than the one that exists in the West?


In China is personal fulfillment merely just about the acquisition of material assets (有房有车有存款)? Or is it about creating a familial dynasty- honoring one's parents and creating a family of your own? How do people define having a 'purpose' in China? Or is this notion of 'personal fulfillment' a quaint Western concept that is irrelevant in a developing country like China where people have to hustle to make ends meet?


I'm interested to hear answers beyond just "money" or status symbols because I feel there must be more to it than that.



-]Dorigoon 28 指標 6小時前

Wife house car son.


[-]takeitchillish 4 指標 5小時前

Pretty much this. And some money. The richer the better.


[-]LaoSh 1 指標 1小時前

Don't forget face. Got to pretend to be better than everyone else.


[-]WhereTheHotWaterAt 10 指標 6小時前

For the older people it's definitively house/car/son/successful family. When these people were young the context was different so it's understandable. Most people were super poor back then so a roof over their heads and food on the table are their priority.


For younger people depends. The generation that grew up in relatively developped cities didn't know abject poverty or hunger so they might have more abstract and personal goals like self-fullfillement meaningful life etc. But most of them is still pushed by their parents to follow the old model.


[-]takeitchillish 9 指標 5小時前

Young people are still slaves to achieve what society wants of them like a house a son a wife or husband and a car. Few Chinese are really independent thinkers.


[-]WhereTheHotWaterAt 3 指標 5小時前

I see more and more young people questioning the traditional idea of success and steer away from the soul-crushing 24/7 work life. Still a minority. Obviously it's gonna take 1 or 2 more generation to fully move away from it


[-]enxiongenxiongUnited States 10 指標 6小時前

If you are in shaanxi it is white leather cowboy boots ridiculously-cut and died hair unbefitting your age a mismatched but very expensive shirt and vest and expensive skinny jeans that fit just under your huge guy.


[-]stealmyrecords 6 指標 6小時前

That sounds kind of awesome actually good for those guys


[-]enxiongenxiongUnited States 13 指標 5小時前

There is a tuhao and then there is a shaanxi tuhao.


[-]enxiongenxiongUnited States 4 指標 4小時前

Best place to spot them is in the xi'an airport


[-]zapee 4 指標 6小時前

Strong family and more money.


[-]ratsta 3 指標 3小時前

Based on my 2.5 years in China I think material wealth filial piety and face are still the benchmarks.


A friend of mine came out to his parents shortly before I left. They demanded that he immediately dump his dream job in the big city and return within arms length so he could be sent on dates. If after providing a grandchild and a year of marriage he still felt that he was gay he could divorce the innocent girl. Regardless of that he'd worked his arse off to get that gig in the big city regardless that he'd be completely screwing over an innocent girl and her family he said he would probably submit to his father's wishes. That speaks volumes to me about his life priorities.


Another friend of mine is in a loveless marriage. She moved out and petitioned for divorce before finally caving in to the mental safety of being married and begging him to take her back. In our discussion that followed she said in as many words that her life goal is to make her mother happy. She simply doesn't see that she's striving for an impossible ideal her imagining of what would make her mother happy.


There are individuals who seek more from life. My neighbour was a PhD student and assistant lecturer who was investigating history of local legends. I was a member of a QQ activities / leisure group that split off from a dating group for people who wanted more from life than restaurants and KTV. There are artists like Ai Wei Wei for whom life is more than just RMB.

也有很多人希望从生活中获取更多。我的邻居是一个博士生和助理讲师,主要研究当地历史传说。我是其中一个QQ群的成员之一,而这个群来自于另一个约会大群,主要是针对那些希望从生活中获取更多,而不是流连于KTV和餐厅的人。这里有像Ai Wei Wei一样生活中看中的不仅仅是钱的人。

However I think the vast majority are still peasants living day to day trying to make living life under the aristocracy more tolerable. Not that far divorced from the bread and circuses that keep most of us amused.


[-]marmakoideEuropean unx 3 指標 52 分鐘前

The end game :

You're married.

You live in richly decorated large flat (or even a house). Look at pics of housing developments advertisement to get the idea of "good looking"

You're the generous guy/gal people come to to ask favours money and advices everybody listen to you religiously. Nobody would dare openly disagree or obxt

You have a nice car looking all new inside and outside

You have a son who came out first from a prestigious school play piano speaks English studied abroad

You have the latest iPhone and iWatch nice clothes etc.

You know stuffs about culture and you travelled the world









[-]rosandonary 1 指標 5小時前

maybe a good life just walking in filed and enjoy the seclusion.


[-]dasanaifair 1 指標 1小時前

For many Chinese the end game is "出人头地" - to stand out among regular folks to be successful or outstanding. If they can't be 出人头地,they are aspired to help their kids to be. That's Chinese version of "pursuit of happiness" for thousands of years.