Victor Shi, lives in China
Thanks for the A2A. Here are some unwrittern rules for your reference. Perhaps they don’t exist in China exclusively.
If a man invite you to a high-end restaurant and give you expensive gift and then invite you to a hotel for some rest. If you are not ready to have sex with him, then don’t go, and you’d better not accept the gift at the beginning. Otherwise you’ll may have disputes when you refuse him.
The best time for seeing a doctor is Tuesdays to Thurdays. Most authority doctors are available at this time.
When friends invite you for dinners, don’t take it for granted. Do remember to invite back. Otherwise your name will go stinky and no one would like to interact or hang out with you.
When doing something, you’d better not tell others until you succeed. Otherwise people will be jealous if you succeed or laugh at you when you fail.
Don’t expose your secrets to friends or anyone else easily. They probably will not keep it and don’t expect to make friends by gaining sympathy. Chinese tend to admire the powerful.
Be polite but not too humble. Otherwise you will be seen as weak and many would like to take advantage of you. Draw a bottom line and be ready to fight back when it is challenged.
Democracy is the best policy for dictatorship. For example if a leader want to appoint his trusted follower as the chief of a profitable department, he will held a competition recruiment to show the public the appointment is open, fair and right, but arrange his own people as judges. The procedure is legal so even if there is investigation later, it can go through it.
Government labour commission does not accept anonymous report. Many, if not most, private Chinese companies don’t pay or don’t pay fully social security for employees as the law required, no payment for overtime too. Don’t they fear employees report to labour commission? No need, because the government is deemed to protect Chinese people’s golorious traddition of rights being violated. They don’t accept anonymous report. Only this filters most reporters. Further more, the reporter must have a staff tag, an uniform with company’s name and logo, pay roll and so on…
The most efficient way to break an ordinary friendship is to borrow money.
Knowing to give gifts to leaders and colleagues or invite them for dinners may speed up your promotion and reduce the eye rolls you suffer.
Hope it helps.
Eamon Dan, a native Beijinger
Answered Oct 11
When a man asks a girl out, man should pay the bills.
When you see senior people standing on public transportation vehicles, you should give out your seat.
In northern China, if you ask your friend to join dinner/lunch with you, you should pay the bill. And they should return you the favor at next time you guys eat together.
Girls don’t wear clothes which can not cover their cleavages no matter how hot the weather is. A moderate dress in formal senario is ok.
Don’t be obsessed with your private space. China is very crowded.
It is ok to negotiate with government officials when you make mistakes, police officers won’t cuff you nor shoot you.
Don’t be sensitive about racial PC. Chinese are very PInC, but they will never make it a real action, even an eye-rolling.
Don’t criticize the government if you don’t know the people you are talking to very well. Very few Chinese people distinguish people/country/government.
Te Zhang, Senior Buyer at Hyundai Motor Company (2016-present)
Answered 7h ago
I tell you some rules that are very common and useful when you have a meal with Chinese people.
First off, when you toast with someone, make sure the edge of your cup is lower than his. This is a way of showing your respect to your superiors or so.
Secondly, do not finish off the last piece of food in the plate. Imagine you and your friends are having dinner together, and now there is only one piece of meat left in the plate. The meat is so delicious that everyone wants some more, but even so, no one would want to act as if being very eager for the food or leaving a impression of willing to take advantages. So do not eat the last food in the plate. Just leave it there.
Thirdly, when you drink with friends, do not fill your glass by yourself, instead, fill other people’s glass actively. In China, no one fill his own empty glass by himself when you drink with friends, not because you do not want to, but everyone else just wouldn’t let you to do it. We Chinese people like to help you fill your glass. For one, it’s a way of showing respect as well. For another, that’s a kind of trick to make you drink as much as possible. The more we fill, the more you drink. So it’s kind of like a “filling battle” at a Chinese meal. You will never have to worry there is no more drink at a Chinese meal!
Last but not the least. We Chinese tend to drink at meals, we barely go to bars!